-Laurell K. Hamilton

The last couple of days I’ve been thinking about one question a great deal. If one had to choose, what is most important in ones life, bdsm, or polyamory? Luckily none of us has to make that choice, but if we did, which would we choose I wonder.

As all of my readers know, I’m very, very deeply involved with bdsm. As I imagine most of my readers know, I’m also deeply involved with polyamory.

I embraced bdsm earlier in my life, and while the road to acceptance of my dominance was a bit difficult at times, it wasn’t all that hard, and I became successful at both the physical and emotional aspects of bdsm fairly easily. I guess in a nutshell I’m saying that bdsm came easily to me, and at a very young age.

Polyamory was different for me. I embraced it later in my life, and the road to full acceptance of it was much more difficult. I also found it much harder to master the emotional skills necessary for successful polyamory. I am now quite successfully polyamorous, but in it’s own nutshell, I can say that the journey was tough and not mastered until I gained wisdom from age.

This week, as I contemplate my life, my predilections, and my loves, I wonder which is actually more important to me, my embrace of bdsm, or my embrace of polyamory. Of course for me these two things are intertwined, which perhaps makes my question even more difficult for me to answer.

For those of you who are both kinky and poly, or who have experienced both, I am very curious about your own personal answers. What is more important to you, bdsm or polyamory?

The Regulators by Richard Bachman (S. King)
I found this to be a quick, enjoyable read. Perfect light fiction for a lazy afternoon in the sun.

Iberia by James Michener
This is quite the opposite of a quick read, and not a novel as was expected. Rather a report of Mr. Michener’s travels through the Iberian Peninsula. Much has of course changed since the book was written, but I found it quite interesting for it’s perspective of the time, Spain under Franco.

Jamaica Inn by Daphne Du Maurier
A short little novel, not challenging, but as I read it I kept imagining that it could be re-written as a perfectly splendid bdsm story.

Drowning Ruth by Christina Schwarz
A more emotional novel than the rest, I found the interpersonal dynamics to be very well portrayed.

The Church In Crisis A History of the General Councils 325-1870 by Philip Hughes
A striking project in scope giving an overview of the Christian world surrounding each of the 20 General Councils of the Catholic Church. I found the book a fascinating read, especially regarding some of histories most successful ‘heretical’ movements. Of course since the book was published Vatican II has taken place, the 21st General Council.

The Horse of Darius by Justin Cartwright
I found this to be a most enjoyable adventure novel, portraying the last Shah of Iran as one of the main characters.

California Gold by John Jakes
Not my favorite Jakes novel, but extremely good nevertheless.

Currently I am reading Reconciliation by Benazir Bhutto, the recently assassinated former Prime Minister of Pakistan.
Three things stand out to me in reading this book. First of all, a marked insincerity. Prime Minister Bhutto speaks only of love for the people of Pakistan, never of her own desire for power. Of course American politicians do the same, but they manage to pull it off better. Secondly, the book seems disjointed in a number of ways. Ms. Bhutto was assassinated prior to final editing of the book, one must assume that she would have cleaned it up some had she lived to do so. Lastly, and I think most importantly, the Prime Minister gives her own personal views of Islam, liberally quoting the Quran (Koran) to make her case. Her views are not in any way similar to those of militant Islamists, and from my own rather extensive reading of the Quran, I believe that she paints a much more accurate picture of Islamic belief than those more newsworthy sources.

Next I will be reading the latest two Anita Blake novels, The Harlequin and Blood Noir by Laurell K. Hamilton

Looking over my list here it seems that I’ve been reading a great deal more than I realized these past few weeks. I would recommend any of these books as worthy of your time.

Naked ambition: Britain's Olympians strip down as they prepare to make history in Beijing from the Daily Mail

Married man's sex with woman is rape, rules SC from Express India

What the well-dressed nudist wears from the CNW Group

What's Miley Cyrus Afraid Of? from Slate

Top Nine Songs About Self Love from The Frisky

Love Hotels, Video

Not quite jam and Jerusalem: Women's Institute ladies toured the world in search of the perfect brothel from the Daily Mail

State looses attempt to argue anew for sex toy ban from the AP

Naughty Victoria from the National Post

Alexis provides an important yet seemingly unique perspective on childrearing by kinky parents.

Thank you again to those who were able to help with this project, and thank you to everyone who comes to visit me, without you none of this would be possible.

Part of keeping it that way though is maintenance. Tomorrow is the big day. Starting bright and early we plan on removing everything from the space and once it is empty maintaining each and every inch of it. When we are done it should be just as perfect as it was when it was built not all that long ago.

We plan that this process will take an entire day and that we will not finish until late tomorrow night sometime, especially since some pieces of equipment will actually have to be disassembled to get them out of the space. It will all be worth the effort though because it is important to me that my space be the very best it can be.

A huge thank you to everyone who is coming to help with this project. Tom, Mark, Eagle, Chris & Sandy, without each of you none of this would be possible.

As a 99.9% non-smoker this ban doesn’t affect me personally, but it is interesting to watch how people are forced to cope with overreaching regulation. Indeed at the same time as we have this ban I know that the popularity of extremely high quality cigars remains high, and there seems to be some similar resurgence in the number of people who enjoy smoking pipes.

All of this comes to mind because my husband is one of the people who loves these less hazardous ways of smoking, and as it is so difficult to find a commercial establishment in which one can legally partake he is hosting a smoking party for his circle of smoking friends here at our house soon. I imagine that the place will smell a bit for a day or two, even if only from smoke wafting through the windows from outside, but no harm can come from such an occasional event.

I mentioned above that I’m a 99.9% non-smoker, so perhaps I should explain for the benefit of those who are new to this blog. I occasionally smoke when I’m with someone who holds a smoking fetish. A fetish for watching a woman smoke. I have great fun with it, with watching the fetishist’s reaction to each of my movements as I smoke. Indeed with such an aficionado a smoking scene can be a truly amazing thing.

The thought of smoking I think brings up images in our minds. It does for me anyway. When I think of cigar smokers I think of businessmen or politicians, men in the proverbial smoke filled room making weighty decisions their discussion concerning the vital issues of the day, and how their organizations must react to those issues. I also conjure an image of a female cigar smoker. Sexy, smoking the cigar as an outward sign of her acceptance of her own hedonism, enjoying it as a sensual experience. Both of these images are of course positive ones to my mind, different as to gender, but both positive nevertheless.

When I think of pipe smokers I think only of masculinity, perhaps because that is all I have ever been exposed to in that context. Thoughtful men sitting with their pipes thinking about the issues of the day, perhaps quietly discussing them with their fellows. Men of contemplation more than action. A much different image from that of the cigar smoker, but nevertheless once again a very positive image.

When I think of cigarette smokers my thoughts are inevitably drawn to the dominatrix. The elegantly cool, delightfully cruel dominatrix enjoying a unique cigarette likely in a long and stylish holder. Again this is a positive image, and one of great power.

I don’t often think of smokers in the way others may, of people addicted to the drug contained in tobacco and delivered by the cigarette. Perhaps that is because I am not often exposed to such, nor to the physical damage that cigarette smoking can obviously cause.

As I’ve never been addicted to cigarettes, and most all of my friends & family are non-smokers it is perhaps easier for me to have these positive images of smoking than it would be for those who are more personally effected by it.

I write all of this for two reasons. As I’ve mentioned my home will be hosting a smoker soon, and watching the invitations be prepared this morning has made me think about smoking in a way that I normally do not. I also write this because recently I found a photograph on the internet which somehow called to me. Not a pornographic, or bdsm image, not even a sexy image, but one I found to be strangely erotic. Quite far out of the norm, I thought that I would share it here.

Now that I know how to extend an entry, you will find this image by clicking on the ‘Continue Reading’ link below.

I am curious as to what you my readers think about this image. Does it convey elegance? Is it for you somehow erotic? Does she bring up thoughts of the cool and cruel dominatrix? Is she contemplating your suffering while she enjoys her quiet thoughts, her smoke? To those of you who hold a smoking fetish I must wonder, does this image call to that fetish? Does it convey nothing of the sort to you?

I know of two different sets of grandparents who have been told that their grandchildren cannot see them drinking alcohol. I know of a mother who is convinced that her very young daughter was molested by the equally young neighbor girl because the two girls were observed ‘playing doctor.’ Lastly I know of a mother who does not allow ‘negative’ words such as death to be said around her children.

It seems that children today are not allowed outside without an adult chaperone. Gone forever are the days when one wandered off to play in the morning, returning home when it started getting dark.

It seems that parents today are convinced that there is a child predator around every corner. Gone forever are the days when children were able to visit a playground without having paranoid fears coursing through their parent’s minds.

Children in the past climbed trees, participated in dangerous sports, explored the wonders of nature. They crashed, sometimes broke bones, fell often with the skinned knees to prove it. They were allowed out of sight, growing up by being alone as their maturity level dictated. Are children allowed to do these things today, or are we as adults so worried about them that we try to protect them from every danger, hence not allowing them to live, to grow up?

When children are allowed to be children, to enjoy the world, are their heads so filled with the fears of their parents that they can’t actually have fun? Isn’t childhood supposed to be about just that, having fun?

Children fall out of trees, they get skinned knees. Children see and hear bad things. That is the nature of childhood. Are we as adults taking the joy out of childhood because we are so protective of our children that we disallow them from doing the things that make childhood worth living?

Lastly I must ask myself, are the fears adults feel for their children today even rational? Is the fear commensurate with the risk? Could it be that adults are so concerned over the safety of children that this ideal of safety, of innocence has become almost as a fetish within the adults in question? Are adults fetishizing childhood innocence, fetishizing childhood safety?

Clearly it is wrong for adults to allow children to be in overly dangerous situations. It is however equally wrong for an adults fears to prevent them from allowing their children to indeed be children.

Unfortunately despite how very exciting these theories are every one I have read is flawed. Cannot be correct. That does occasionally serve to place a damper on the fun one has reading them.

The basic flaw I have found in each of them is the claim of total gender supremacy. Of course this is the very thing that makes them so exciting, but it is also their downfall. While some of us kinky folk might absolutely love touching ourselves while reading about a female supremacist society in the stark light of day we know in our hearts that the world is full of women who could never deserve to be thought of as supreme. Women who beat their children, women who rot in prison because they are too dangerous to walk the streets, and women who steal from the productive members of our nation when they cash their welfare check every month. Surely such women can never be considered somehow supreme to the legion of great men out there, men who love and protect their families and improve our world in the process.

That is the fundamental flaw I have always found, but it is not the only one. Another flaw seems to occasionally just leap off the page at me, and yet a third seems unavoidable if one spends as much time reading everything kinky on the internet as I do.

The first of these is that occasionally one is reading a woman’s theory of female supremacy and it starts out perfectly. She is the head of her household, her husband the sissy in skirts. So far, so hot! She believes that men must submit to women, that all men exist to serve. So far, hotter yet! She doesn’t approve of the male orgasm, keeps her sissy husband in denial for long stretches of time. Even hotter! She can’t stomach the thought of actually fucking the sissy husband, so she cuckolds him every chance she gets. I’m starting to wonder if it can possibly get even hotter! She cuckolds him with ‘Alpha Males’ who treat her like a whore. Total and complete let down! No more arousal here.

How on earth can she be a female supremacist, a believer that women are inherently supreme over men, and yet run around as an ‘Alpha Males’ slut? Not only a fundamental flaw, this flaw totally ruins a carefully nurtured lust.

The second of these are the conflicting theories of male supremacy which are floating around out there. Such theories do nothing for me, they certainly couldn’t turn me on, so I don’t search for them but I do stumble upon them from time to time while wandering around the internet. There are plenty of women out there with their own theories of male supremacy, who want nothing more than to be in submission to a man who believes in such things. Another flaw to the theory that all women are supreme.

I’m making this post because last week I was sent another theory of supremacy. It seems that a friend of mine has come up with a theory and I was pleased with it because when I read it I noticed that it did not contain any of the fatal flaws mentioned above. It acknowledges that gender is not a valid division within such theories, and while it does not specifically state that a relationship based upon a larger hierarchy would fit within its parameters it is clear that it would.

It does seem to make provision for the truly bad woman, for the woman who wants to have a slave husband plus a master lover, and for women who want to serve supreme men.

The theory also includes a strong mixture of spirituality.

I do not post about spirituality much here on the blog but I firmly believe that bdsm is spiritual and that what I do in my dungeon is spiritual. I have experienced extremely spiritual moments with my submissives and I relish reading everything that is available about bdsm spirituality. As a result, I found its inclusion within the theory quite interesting.

I’ve received my correspondent’s permission to post the theory here on the blog and I will attempt to do so because I am very interested in seeing how other people react to it. It is however a very long document so I don’t want to post it here on the front page because I imagine that at least some of my readers will have no interest in it, and will just want to read my posts which would otherwise be buried.

If all goes well with this post, the theory will be found by clicking a ‘continue reading’ link directly below.

If you would like to share your comments about this theory with me please either leave them here on the blog, or email them to me at: blog AT milliscent.com, replacing the AT with @ of course.

If a ‘continue reading’ link doesn’t appear it means that I was unable to post the theory here due to it’s extreme size, but I would be happy to try and email it to anyone who is interested, just let me know.

I strap him down, nice and tight so that he can’t dislodge me with his struggles.

I take my time, allow him to get a very good look at the ass that will soon be overriding his need to breathe, allowing his anticipation to grow.

I position myself perfectly using great care to ensure that his air supply is blocked.

So well situated I simply wait, wait for his struggles to begin, wait to feel the crushed face shuddering below me as he tries in vain to create an opening to the air he needs to survive.

His ineffectual struggles are always exciting, often amusing, how wonderful to deny him that which he cannot live without using nothing but my cute little ass. How exciting to know that I have turned the object of his desire into the object of his torment, how perfectly splendid to know that what he longs to have more than anything has become the very thing he struggles to escape from simply because I know how to use it against him, because I seek nothing but his pain.

I do of course eventually rise, rise for the tiniest moment so that he can fill his lungs, then I’m right back down, right back to enforcing his denial so that my fun can begin again.

A spiral effect is created, each eventual granting of mercy making the next period of denial that much more exciting for me. On and on it goes. I can sit for what must seem forever.

Beautiful dominatrices, beautiful slavegirls, what could be better?