October 2, 2006

Opportunists

It is said that one should never discuss religion or politics in public. I hate being conformist, so here is a bit of both.

Yesterday I posted a number of links to organizations working to protect and expand the rights of sexual freedom for consenting adults.

The sexual freedoms we enjoy are always under attack, and I think it only fair to very frankly discuss exactly who is attacking them.

I should begin this by stating that I am a life long republican. I believe in personal responsibility, the free enterprise system, and a strong national defense. I also believe that government is too large and it spends too much money. I think it needs to shrink in size and scope. Time was that my vision of republicanism was in the mainstream of the party. It no longer is. The party has been taken over by culturally conservative zealots with an agenda to create a theocracy here in America. My wing of the party, the libertarian wing, has been beaten into obscurity and the core values my wing represents only receive mention at election time as republicans are again forced to reach out to the American mainstream.

This trend within the party is shocking to me, I cannot fathom how anyone could think that a theocratic government would be good for America or her citizens. One needs look no further than Saudi Arabia to see how such a government would work.

This conservative right wing, these people who would love to see an American government based upon bible tenants, it's only fair to ask, just who are these people, and how do they behave?

These individuals and this group who seek to limit sexual freedom for everyone, what are their own sexual lives like?

Let's start with organized religion. The Roman Catholic is our nations largest, most influential church. The church has taught for centuries that sexuality was evil, and that the marital bed, with the intention of childbearing, was the only acceptable outlet for sexuality. Any and all other sexual activity is taught to be evil. Women's rights, and women's issues of course take the brunt of the attack on sexuality.

How does this church which views virtually all sexual activity as evil handle the sexuality of it's leaders? A fair question to ask in light of it's teachings I believe. The answer as everyone knows is that it's organization seems to harbor large numbers of child molesters, child molesters who the church does all in it's power to protect from justice when discovered.

Molestation of children, lies, and cover-ups. All this while teaching against the pursuit of sexual pleasure.

Washington State Senator and Spokane Mayor Jim West. Senator West was a right wing politician. As Majority Leader of the Senate he went above and beyond the call of duty in protecting us Washingtonians against the evils of homosexuality by preventing the passage of a bill which would give equal protection under the law to gays and lesbians.

The bill did finally pass after Senator West left our legislature, and went on to peddle his nonsense to the people of Spokane.

Senator West, the man who worked so hard to make sure that it was legal to discriminate against gays and lesbians. It is fair to ask about his own sexuality since he felt that sexuality was a legitimate focus of public debate. So, did his behavior match his words? Of course not. As the good people of Spokane learned, the Senator used public resources to recruit young men into his bed.

Abuse of power, lies, and cover-ups. All this while legislating against sexual freedom for everyone else.

This brings us to the republican of the week, Florida Congressman Mark Foley. Let's take a look at this fellow, and his colleagues.

The Congressman, while fighting for a repressed America, was spending lots of his free time sending sexually explicit emails to underage boys. Not content to only email though, the good Congressman even taught himself how to use instant messaging. One has to wonder if he was a good or a bad one handed typist.

The scandal can't end with Mr. Foley though, let's not forget the republican leadership.

Speaker Hastert knew of Mr. Foleys behavior six months ago and did nothing to stop it. Republican press statements strongly hint that "Top House Republicans" were aware of the email traffic as well, but of course decided to sweep it under the rug in this election year.

To top it all off, what exactly did Mr. Foley do in Congress? Will wonders never cease, he was Chairman of the House Caucus on missing and exploited children.

Molestation, lies, and cover-ups. All while the republican Congress and administration works to keep Americans safe by shutting down pornographic websites and arresting porn video producers.

My rant over, I do want to make it clear that I still strongly believe in traditional republican values. The values of Ronald Reagan and Barry Goldwater. I also want to make it clear that I do believe in a higher power, and take my own spirituality seriously.

I must point out with this post though that the people currently parading themselves as god fearing republicans waging a cultural war against erotic expression of all kinds are neither republicans nor men of god. They are simply opportunists using a gullible minority to further their own selfish drive for power.

Organizations can not function without the support of their membership. It is up to us to clean up our churches, and to clean up our politics. We need to work to ensure that our leaders are good moral people, people who do not molest or otherwise exploit the most vulnerable members of our society while advocating against adult, consensual sexual expression.

Posted by Milliscent at 11:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

9/30/2006

Intercourse, or a Lack Thereof

It seems that we have a theme going.

Following my post "Sex, Or A Lack Thereof" Wayne Rogers commented with his opinion that a dominant woman should never have intercourse with a submissive, even if he is her husband.

He further states his view that instead of her submissive husband the dominant woman should always turn for intercourse to an alpha male or another woman.

I am married, but my husband is not submissive so I have not been able to put this into practice, but I do agree with the general ideas Wayne expresses.

If I was married to my submissive, his cock would never enter my body. I would find great joy in his sexual suffering, and as I mentioned in an earlier post, traditional sex changes the power dynamics within a female dominated relationship. I would not allow that change.

I would however fuck a submissive husband. In fact I would delight in it. I believe that sex is important in any marriage and I would make certain that his ass was well used by my strap on as often as possible.

I agree with Wayne that just because a submissive is denied sexual release that does not mean the dominant should be denied orgasm, and I agree that it is wholly proper for a dominant wife to seek out other males or females to have sex with. I disagree with Wayne that an alpha male would be a good choice. If I was married to my submissive I would find another submissive to cuckold him with. I would not need, nor desire being "taken" by some alpha ego. Besides, it would be great foreplay watching the boys entertain me.

Wayne does mention that he feels it's proper for a submissive husband to orally pleasure his wife and Mistress. I agree with that as well, but I would take it a good deal further, as imagination is truly the only limit. How about a penis gag for him which she can ride to orgasm when desired? How about binding his cock out of the way and strapping a dildo to his hips for her pleasure? The possibilities are endless.

Posted by Milliscent at 8:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

9/28/2006

What Kind of Daddy are You?

It's possible that some people might be offended by this post. It's possible that some people will find it to be in poor taste. In my first post to this blog I wrote that one of the blogs purposes was education. This post is about fathers, and the ways in which they raise their daughters. If you might find my opinions about this offensive, please don't read this post. If you find thoughts about parenting in poor taste on a blog about female domination, please don't read this post.

For everyone else, what kind of daddy are you?

Reading Maria's Diary caused me to reflect on my own past, and brought to mind the thoughts that make up this post. Let me say right up front that I had a good childhood. I was a happy child with loving parents. My childhood home was however an extremely sex negative one.

No father wants to think about his daughter doing things like Maria. He doesn't want to think of his daughter fucking her lover while her husband watches, wanking in the corner.

No father wants to think about his daughter doing things like me. He doesn't want to think of his daughter finding intense erotic enjoyment from whipping a man she doesn't even know outside of the dungeon.

For that matter no father wants to think about his daughter living in a home like mine, a home in which 25% of the square footage is devoted exclusively to bdsm.

I understand how a father feels. I also however take great exception to the fact that so many daughters are raised to believe that their sexuality is somehow wrong, dirty, evil, or nasty. That women must be either virgins or whores, and that virgins are to be honored while whores are nothing but societies trash.

In our society we raise our daughters a great deal differently than we raise our sons. This difference is most pronounced in the attitudes we communicate to girls regarding sexuality.

Generally boys are socialized to believe that sex is OK, while girls are socialized to believe that sex is dirty, nasty, or downright evil.

What kind of daddy are you?

Are you the kind of father who will raise his daughter to suffer through a lifetime of sexual frustration? Are you the kind of father who will raise a daughter afraid to fantasize about, let alone explore her own sexuality? Are you the kind of father who will raise a frigid, uptight, and fearful daughter who will be unable to find and hold deeply loving and intimate relationships? Are you the kind of father who will raise a daughter unable to build a strong marriage because of her hang-ups over her and her husbands sexuality?

I sincerely hope that you are not that kind of father. I hope that you are the kind of father who will raise a daughter able to find joy and fulfillment in her sexuality. I hope that you are the kind of father who will raise a daughter unafraid to fantasize about and explore her own sexuality. I hope that you are the kind of father who will raise a loving, open, and fulfilled daughter who is able to find and hold deeply loving and intimate relationships. I hope that you are the kind of father who will raise a daughter who is able to build a strong marriage, if she desires one, because she is able to fully explore and enjoy the sexual side of her relationship with her husband.

As a father you would not socialize your son in such a way that he believed that sex was evil, or somehow too dangerous to enjoy. I hope that you will not socialize your daughter in such a way that she believes that sex is bad, or too dangerous to enjoy.

Both Maria and I were lucky. We both suffered from sex negative conditioning, but we were both able to overcome it. It took Maria ten years to fully embrace her sexuality, I was blessed in that it didn't take me that long. I still remember the negative attitudes though, and in some small ways they still haunt me to this day.

Most women are not lucky as we were. Most women who suffered from such negative conditioning never overcome it. They are unfortunately given to a life of sexual un-fulfillment, and will never truly experience the joy that is offered by their sexuality.

Socializing a daughter in a sex positive way does not mean that she will become a whore. It does not mean that she will share my proclivities, or write a diary like Maria's. It does mean that she will have an opportunity to find joy and fulfillment in her own unique sexuality, whatever that may be.

Fathers are not able to control their adult daughters sexuality anyway, I am proof of this, Maria's Diary is proof of this. Why then do so many fathers subject their daughters to sex negative upbringings in an attempt to do just that.

Daughters do grow up, they will have sex. Sex is not a zero sum proposition. There are a myriad of choices out there for women, she will not limited to being only a virgin or a whore. Be a good father, don't fill her mind with thoughts that sex is somehow evil, bad, dirty, or too dangerous to even discuss. Let her grow up in such a way that she can find the joy and fulfillment she deserves from her sexuality, whatever it may be.

Posted by Milliscent at 1:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

9/25/2006

SSC –vs- Rack

For many years now, in an attempt to make bdsm more palatable to the vanilla public, members of our subculture have been using the term SSC, Safe, Sane, and Consensual. While I understand the motivation behind the use of SSC, I don't think it is an accurate portrayal of what we do, and I think that it could be misleading to some percentage of people.

The use of SSC implies that bdsm is safe. The dictionary defines the word safe as "not exposed to danger or risk." It is misleading to claim that bdsm is safe because bdsm does contain some risk of danger.

I don't want to imply that bdsm is unreasonably dangerous because it is not. In all my years of playing I've not injured a submissive, and for that matter I've never seen a submissive seriously injured at any of the hundreds of bdsm parties I've attended.

Done with skill bdsm is certainly much safer than driving to the local market, safer than any physical sports, and safer than any other activity which provides such levels of extreme excitement.

We are however playing with toys, equipment, and techniques which could cause injury if not used correctly. Therefore implying that bdsm is 100% safe is not proper.

Sane is the second word in the mantra. I think that for the purposes used it fails miserably. Those of us in the bdsm community know what is meant by the word sane as we use it, but that is only because we think about it, and we discuss it amongst ourselves. The meaning will escape the vanilla public who most likely quickly think about the "Safe and Sane" label on the fireworks they bought last 4th of July.

Out of the three words, consensual is the only one I can totally agree with.

Another descriptive phrase has been floating around the community for a while now, one that I think is a much better portrayal of what we do. RACK. Risk Aware Consensual Kink.

RACK acknowledges the fact that while very low there is some risk involved with bdsm, plus it continues to stress the importance of consent in all that we do.

I remain hopeful that as time passes more and more people substitute RACK for SSC, so that the inferior phrase slowly fades away.

Posted by Milliscent at 11:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Below is the first blog post I ever made. It’s interesting to read my reasons for starting the blog, I hope that I have fulfilled at least a part of the goals I set out for it.

9/24/06

Why This Blog?

I think that it might be valuable if in the first post to this blog I state the purposes of the blog. Doing so will help to set the tone of the blog, and will perhaps serve as an interesting reference point as the blog grows and changes in the months and years to come.

This blog most obviously exists as a way for me to share my rather unique lifestyle as a professional dominatrix, and to give those who might be considering visiting me an in depth look into my style and my beliefs so that they can make a better informed choice.

Equally important to me, but perhaps much less obviously, it is my sincere hope that this blog serves to educate others about the wonderful world of female domination. My personal involvement with, and immersion in, FemDom has been wholly positive and a wonderful part of my life. I hope that through this forum I am able to communicate the great joy I have found to others, and help them to find that joy for themselves.

I will endeavor to post here regularly, as often as my schedule allows. I welcome comments on the blog from anyone, and emails from anyone who might be considering coming to visit me professionally. Please help me to make this an interesting and interactive forum.

Posted by Milliscent at 10:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)