Two very good friends of mine are primary partners in a poly relationship. They have done well with it for a number of years now, but recently have begun experiencing problems.

I've got to admit, I worry about them.

I make it no secret; I'm proudly poly myself and have been for many years. I remember though that it was shockingly difficult to get to the point where I am now. Difficult to figure out how to do poly and not hurt myself or those around me.

It all seems like it is fun and games, and indeed it is, once it is figured out and becomes a stable part of ones life. That though can take years.

Jealousy is issue number one. We have to learn how to overcome jealousy. Especially if we happen to be alone while our partner is fucking another.

Remembrance is number two. We have to remember to love our partner. It can be painfully easy to forget our old partner when in the flush of new love.

When these two problems are overcome the rest will come easy. They are not though simple to overcome, and one must practice to be perfect.

Books abound on the subject, and I recommend them highly. I think that every one I've run across has been helpful, but it is best to remember while reading them that they are simplistic. It is never as easy as it sounds, and those funny little rules just don't work our in real life.

Poly is for me, and I think that it would be a wonderful way of living and loving for a great many people. It's not easy though, especially those first painful months and years, so I always hope that folks will realize how difficult it will be before they begin traveling the poly path.

My friends had it easy from the start, no serious, crazy love interest; just casual play. Now the crazy passion has entered the picture. I hope that they learn to survive and enjoy it, without tearing their relationship apart in the process.