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Today I'm watching the Houston Oilers play the Titans of New York. Who would have thought we would ever see those uniforms on an NFL field again? Interesting game going along with the interesting and historical uniforms. I must admit to rooting for the Titans (Jets), and so far, they are not disappointing me.
AFL 50th Anniversary
Mistress Milliscent's Erotic Scene
Fem Dom Love vs. Fem Dom Like: Mistress Milliscent Was Right
Thanks Saratoga! One does love reading about herself!
This past week a new breaker box and generator hook up were installed in my house. These also power the studio, so were a major improvement. No more risk of fire from a very old and outdated breaker box, no more having to throw a dozen switches before turning on the generator.
The very best thing though is that this was the last project of the year! The contractors arrived very early this spring and I've finally gotten to wave goodbye to them for the last time. While the improvements are perfectly splendid, I must admit that having my home back is truly wonderful. I never realized until I had lost them just how tremendous peace and quiet can be!
Those who've read this blog for a long time have likely noticed that I've never truly settled on a word for the space in which I play. Sometimes I call it my studio, my dungeon, my playspace. I've just never hit upon the word that properly fits the space as I see it, and at the same time is instantly recognizable to everyone who reads the blog.
That is because I view it as a sacred space. Sure it could be considered a studio, a dungeon, a playspace, but those terms are all woefully incomplete, as they do not convey the sacredness of the space. It could be considered a temple, but that word would not be properly recognized and understood by many who read my writings.
I believe that what I do, my bdsm and fetish explorations are sacred, and I believe that the space I do them in is sacred. Those activities and that space is also strikingly joyous and amazingly fulfilling. I find our language too limiting if I am to combine all of these attributes together, the sacred and the profane.
A bdsm scene or ritual is an extremely vulnerable time for the participants. A sacred space is a safe space in which that vulnerability can be manifested. A fetish ritual or scene is extremely intimate and sacred space, through its safety, allows an individual's emotionally protective barriers to fall away so that deep and lasting intimacy can be obtained.
We are all very different. We come from different class backgrounds, different gender identities, and different views of our sexual orientations, often-different cultures. Sacred space must be safe space for everyone, a safe space in which we can set aside our superficial differences and honor those shared activities and rituals by which we reach states of ecstatic bliss.
Sacred space implies a requirement for respect and reverence. Respect and reverence for each other, our time together, and our rituals. BDSM and fetish can be fun in many contexts, in many places, but it can also be so much more than just fun. It can take us to previously only imagined heights of ecstasy and bliss. Those heights require respect and reverence. I believe that my playspace, my sacred space, helps to create those feelings in all those who enter.
A dungeon is just a room with a bunch of bdsm equipment inside. So too can be sacred space. The intention of the people within that room is what makes the difference. Just as intention can make the difference between a scene that's just fun, and a scene that reaches the level of bliss.
I hope that you will come and join me in my sacred space; surely no finer place to suffer and serve has ever been created.
For three days in a row the Everett Herald has been running stories about the dangerous risks Everett cops are taking to protect us all from baristas in skimpy clothing. Thank god the cops in Everett are saving us from the horrible menace of almost visible nipples, they could be, like other departments, improperly focusing on much less dangerous crimes like rape, robbery, and youth violence.
Citizens of Everett should take pride in the fact that their boys in blue are risking their very lives to stop these young sluts from committing any more horrendous crimes, crimes as heinous as licking up whipping cream.
A quick run down for those who don't read the Herald:
Five women working at Grab N Go espresso in Everett were this week charged with prostitution for:
"...accused of stripping off their undergarments and flashing customers. Everett police also reported witnessing the women charge customers up to $80 to touch their exposed private parts."
- The Everett Herald
The investigation into the women removing their panties did take over two months, but I'm quite certain that a better use of law enforcement resources could not be found anywhere. I mean good lord, if a woman is willing to take off her underwear, who knows what other sick and demented crimes she might be plotting. Hell, these tramps could be terrorists or serial killers. Lucky for us the Everett cops are on the job!
At another stand, off HWY 99, apparently it was felt that prostitution charges would not stick, so indecent exposure was the order of the day. A huge THANK YOU to the tipster who alerted the cops to this horrible crime wave.
"He told the deputy the barista's nipples could be seen through her pasties. The man told the deputy it was the first time he'd seen that much of a barista at the stand, court papers said.
The Everett woman was arrested and booked into jail."
- The Everett Herald
I don't know about the rest of you, but I know that if I ever visit the City of Everett I'll be glad to know that I won't have to see any whore's bare butt cheeks! Muggers and rapists I can handle just fine, as long as the Everett cops are there, protecting me from renegade sluts.
Enough Sarcasm.
On a serious note, we should not blame the cops for this horrible waste of law enforcement resources. It's not their fault, they are just following orders.
You see, the Mayor and the City Council want to pass an ordinance outlawing bikini espresso stands. Prudes hate coffee girls in bikinis, and prudes vote a lot more frequently than more open-minded people. Therefore, the Mayor and Council have hit on their ordinance as a cheap and easy way to score some votes for themselves.
The problem is of course that they do need to justify their ordinance somehow. To do so, they send out the cops to do their dirty work. Send out the cops to hit the girls with some goofy charges, that lets the media turn it into a 'crisis' that must be addressed, and viola, justification for the Mayor and his Council to pass their ordinance.
Sleazy politics at its worst.
Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse was recently shut down by Blogger. I'm pleased to report that this morning they have a new home on the web:
Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse
I love to read, and I must confess that even after making countless trips to the used bookstore for purposes of shrinking my collection, it does sometimes seem that my house could fall down from the tremendous weight of all my books.
Today, I ordered a few more. I pass along the titles because I imagine that most of my readers here would be interested in them.
The Ethical Slut, by Dossie Easton
This is a truly wonderful book, from an author I have enjoyed for a very long time. I am certainly not monogamous, nor much of a believer in monogamy, and would be considered a slut by the author. A slut in the good sense of the word of course. I don't follow all of the advice given in this book, I find that it would be too confining for me, but despite that, I do think it is a superb book for anyone involved with non-monogamy, and I have recommended it countless times through the years. I've also loaned it out a number of times, so today I ordered two copies.
Polyamory, by Anthony Ravenscroft
I've not read this book, but am certainly looking forward to it as I think that each author manages to bring a slightly different perspective to non-monogamy and polyamory.
One Big Happy Family
A collection of essays from 18 writers about alternative relationships including Polyamory and open marriages. I imagine that there must be something delightfully kinky for me to find on my first read through it.
I want to be deep inside his ass.
Now.
Fucking him, driving myself into him, brutalizing him. I don't want to wait.
Gentleness? I'm just not interested in that right now. Raw force would better quench my fire.
Tenderness? I just don't see myself as warm and supportive today. Coldness would better suit my mood.
I don't want to slowly, gently massage his ass, use my fingers to slowly open him. I don't want to warm and lubrcate the entrance to his body.
I want him open.
Open to me.
Now.
Cold and clinical, stainless steel, my perfect solution. A bit of lubricant on an anal speculum.
He's already bent over for me, strapped down for me. The speculum driven home, small, so very small.
Opened quickly, steel jaws forcing him open as well, forcing him open for me. Resistance impossible against the cold steel, force delivered to me, exactly as I desire.
The speculum removed, my slave now so open, I can drive myself completely, violently into him. No tenderness, no gentleness required.
Simple.
Brutal.
Pounding.
I have been following an extremely interesting thread on a Cuckolding Forum, a thread that is in effect the story of one husbands cuckolding, off and on, over many years.
I've enjoyed reading the story, but find that other people's comments on it might be very much missing the mark, as they are almost all negative regarding the situation. On the other hand, I have a positive view of that situation.
You can read it for yourself here:
Devavu2009's story is long and involved, but I think well worth the read.
I'm not a member of the forum where it is posted, so have not posted my comments there, but will do so here. Who knows, perhaps Devavu2009 will find them and they will be helpful to him.
One thing that strikes me in reading Devavu2009's story is his deep insecurity. It is clear to me that his wife, through her own actions as recorded by Davavu2009, is truly with him. When Devavu2009 decided that he could no longer be a cuckold, she left her lover and stayed faithful to her husband for years. She chose Devavu2009. Despite that fact his story is repeatedly peppered with statements about how he lost her, how he could not compete. In reading his story it is clearly evident that his cuckolding, both the first and the second time, made up some of the greatest times of Devavu2009's life. Like all relationships though there were occasional problems as he recounts. Devavu2009 doesn't explicitly lay blame for these problems on anyone, but it is implied that they are mainly the result of Aaron's (his wife's lover) actions, and his wife's acceptance of them. I see it differently. To my mind, many of the problems Devavu2009 recounts were directly caused by his own insecurities. I believe that if he was possessed of a reasonable feeling of self worth many of the problems he relates would not have existed, or would have been minimized.
Another contributing factor to the problems I see is the fact that Devavu2009 believes his desires to be submissive, chastised, and cuckolded are deviant and wrong. Surely this feeling has contributed to his insecurity, and compounded the problems he recounts. I must believe that if he had been better able to embrace and accept his desires the problems all three of them faced would not have seemed to be so insurmountable.
In reading Devavu2009's story I notice that he has a bad habit of both asking for things when they are not available to him, and expressing disdain for those same things when they are. For example, his oldest and strongest fantasy is for orgasm denial. He recounts that he asked his wife to deny him repeatedly throughout their relationship. When she does so, or even talks of doing so effectively however he complains to her about it. The Lori's Tube (or it's variant, he is unclear on the point) is a huge fantasy for him before she and Aaron purchase it for him, then he rebels. When she later talks again about putting the tube on his cock, he perceives that as a 'threat.' In my experience dominant women absolutely despise such behavior. If a submissive asks for something he should expect that she may embrace it, and if she does embrace it, he should damn well be thankful for the fact that she is willing to play in that way with him, not start whining and complaining about it. It was, quite specifically in this case, his fantasy, not hers. He introduced it to her, and created the fantasy within her. He must, by any measure of reasonableness be pleased that she is exploring the fantasy that he asked her to explore. Devavu2009 violates this fundamental fairness, over and over again. That certainly contributed to the problems they faced, and indeed, was most likely the fundamental cause of the first shattering of their relationship and the probable second as well.
Related to this last point, Devavu2009 seems to not understand that he creates powerful desires in the minds of those he is intimately involved with. He relates how he would talk to his wife and her lover about how very happy he would be if he were 'locked up forever.' How badly he needs a truly secure chastity device, and how badly he needs his orgasm to be ruthlessly denied. He also relates though that in his own mind these were just words without meaning. He expressed them as facts about himself, while in fact they were nothing to him but hot words in a daydream. Where he lacks understanding is that by presenting these things as facts about himself, he got his wife and her lover thinking about them, thinking about them over the course of years. The 'dreams' of Devavu2009, through his own less than honest communication, became powerful desires within his wife and her lover. Desires that they eventually took steps to act out on their seemingly willing submissive. He expresses a measure of contempt for the fact that they didn't understand that his communications were less than honest, that they should have known he was not serious. My own view is that Devavu2009 was serious about orgasm denial, but that his insecurity, and negative feelings towards his desires, caused him to rebel against those desires. Perhaps though, what he says now is true, and he was lying to them about his desires. Either way, he lacks any sense of understanding that we all have the power to create fantasies within those people whom we are intimate with. This fundamental lack of understanding certainly contributed to the dashing of everyone's joy, including his own. Eventually, he demanded a stop to orgasm denial, and seems to express surprise at the fact that after he had done so his wife and her lover lost all interest in his fantasies and desires. To me, it is not surprising at all, they could no longer trust him, and trust is vital in any alternative sexual relationship.
Devavu2009 writes, "When I am deep into subspace, I always say this sort of thing, and I mean it. At the time." He relates this years after the first breakup that was the result of his earlier dishonesty about orgasm denial. It is regretful that after a disastrous breakup, and after the passage of time, he learned nothing about himself, or the importance of honest communication with his dominant.
Devavu2009 relates that years ago, during the first break up, his wife said to him in regards to his asking for forms of domination, then rejecting them: "Do you think this is all some big game? It's not a game for us. You're fucking with people's lives. With my life." It seems that she was communicating the problems he caused succinctly; it is unfortunate that years later he still does not seem to understand. Understand that she, and her lover, took their domination (domination he asked for) over him extremely seriously and were saddened by the fact that he would be less than truthful about his submission.
Devavu2009 seems also to be overly concerned about what other people would think if they knew about his marriage. He relates that he doesn't want to be a 'fool.' It is clear from his story that none of them parade the facts of the marriage or advertise it, so it is not a fear about what people will think when they learn the truth, rather just a fear of what they would think if they knew. I again think that this concern is driven by his insecurity and low self worth, and must believe that such negative thoughts are harmful as they pass into his consciousness. Devavu2009's wife tells him that he is filled with shame, and needs to simply accept whom he is. Good advice, unfortunately unheeded by him. Related to this Devavu2009 discusses the guilt he feels about his life and his fantasies, guilt despite the joy he finds in exploring such things with his wife and her lover.
Towards the end of the thread Devavu2009 relates that his wife has made her ultimate plan. They are to be divorced, yet Davavu2009 will continue to live with her. She will be married to her lover. This is explained as an easy way for friends and relatives to understand the change, as opposed to simply moving her lover in with her while remaining married to Devavu2009. He will remain to serve them both as their slave, in chastity, still providing oral and other sexual services to them both. She did not ask for Devavu2009's consent, saying, and he admits this, that he has consented to it dozens of times in the past via letters to her asking for exactly that.
The thread ends with Devavu2009 receiving advice from those who have been following it all along. The consensus? Hire a good lawyer, divorce the bitch, move out, get on with life, and hope that next time you find love.
I disagree. Strongly.
In my view Devavu2009 should do as he has promised so many times in the past. He should obey. He should obey his wife, and her lover, submit himself to her plan, and simply embrace their dominance over him.
He should I think:
1. Go to work within himself on his issues of insecurity, and his feelings of low self worth. He needs to realize that submitting to his wife and her lover does not make him weak, indeed submitting as they require is something that very, very few men could ever do. Being able to do so is the opposite of weakness, it is rather indicative of tremendous strength and self-control. He should be taking pride in his submission, pride in his ability to give up so very much for their mutual happiness. He needs to not only come to understand just how strong he is, but to embrace that strength, banishing insecurity, building self-esteem.
2. He writes that he, his wife, and her lover have all found the greatest joys and fulfillments in their lives while living as slave husband, dominant cuckoldress, and dominant lover. It is time that he realize and truly understand that finding joy and fulfillment through the exploration of sexuality by consenting adults is not deviant or in any way wrong. What would be wrong would be to throw all of that happiness away because one is worried about how society views such things.
3. Devavu2009 must stop asking and begging for modes of domination that he does not want. He must recognize the importance of being painfully honest in his communications with his two dominants, and must recognize that when he is less than honest those lies directly impact his dominants by showing them that he does not take their shared relationship seriously.
4. He must learn obedience. He has by his own admission asked for each and every thing his wife and her lover demand of him, over and over again. As a result, when they make such demands, he is obligated to obey. He must realize that to disobey or complain is to hurt those people in his life, and to show himself a liar. They are giving him exactly what he desires, he must obey.
5. He must bring himself to a point of empathy for his wife and her lover. He needs to understand that it is completely unreasonable for him to beg for things, and then refuse to do them, unreasonable for him to spark fantasies within his dominants and then mock those fantasies. He must realize that there are three people in the relationship and that the relationship must be a blending of everyone's desires, not simply something that exists to fulfill his desires of the moment. He must become a partner in the relationship, not a demanding brat, sitting in the corner bitching every time he does not get his way, or more often bitching when he does get his way, but not at the exact moment he wants it.
6. Devavu2009 must realize that if he acts like a spoiled brat, withdrawing himself from the relationship, mocking the very fantasies he created within his wife and her lover that they will feel betrayed by him, and want to spend time away from him. That instead, with open and honest communication, and empathy for their needs and desires, he will be an even more vital part of the triangle and they will want to include him deeper in their lives.
7. He must stop lying about his fantasies, needs, and desires. He must realize that when he lies to his wife and her lover, his lies have powerfully negative effects on their lives, and the relationship they all share.
8. He must understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong, or to feel guilty about when it comes to fulfilling sexual explorations between consenting adults. He needs to stop being concerned about what other people could think, or about any need to feel guilt for his fantasies and their mutual explorations. Instead of worrying about pleasing society, he should be worrying about pleasing himself and his dominants.
9. Devavu2009 should obey his wife; grant her the divorce she seeks. He should ensure that their assets are divided fairly, and take steps to protect the assets he is awarded. He should do this to protect his own future. Beyond that, he should obey and embrace his submission.
10. He should, as demanded, live with his wife and her lover as their denied, humiliated, and worked slave. He should embrace his role, and obey in all ways.
11. He should realize, as his wife pointed out, that he has already consented to this life, consented in the many letters he wrote begging for exactly what she is now demanding. He should accept who and what he is so that he can ride a wave of pleasure and fulfillment along with his wife and her lover, wherever she may decide that wave must lead. He must accept and obey now, for this has the potential to be the greatest ride of his life (as he himself admits throughout the story.) If he does not, he will regret it for the rest of his life, likely a life lived all alone as very few dominants would stick with a slave, husband or otherwise, who put them through what he has put his wife and her lover through.
I encourage you to read Devavu2009's story, it is truly well written and interesting. I would be curious to learn if you agree with my thoughts on it, and what he should do, or if you agree with the consensus on the forum.
As my readers know, I think that my dungeon is quite spectacular, the very best that could be. For those who haven't had the opportunity to see it, you can read about it here and here.
The only thing I don't like about my dungeon is the entry into the building. It was, I think, sort of tacked on as an afterthought when the building was first erected back in the 1980's, and it has always looked rather poorly and cheaply done.
A couple of good friends took care of that for me last night, some left over concrete from another project, and a touch of left over marble from my new shower to serve as an accent, and I now have a much better looking entrance into the beautiful dungeon inside.
Slowly but surely, everything continues to improve with time.
A friend passed along this photo gallery of alternative clothing to me. Bondage with a very definite twist!
Peter Pool
Last month I posted about Auntie Tammy's Kinky Campground. Her opening event has been taking place all this weekend, and I must say that the Campground is off to a tremendous start.
It is a small gathering, but everyone it seems is having a great time enjoying the woods, and Tammy's tremendous outdoor bondage equipment.
If any couples want to get on Tammy's invitation list for next summer's activities I'd recommend contacting her now at:
tammygg@hotmail.com
Yesterday the small city of Monroe Washington opened a new and beautiful baseball park. An event that happens frequently in this country, but Monroe's park is radically different. It was built specifically for badly handicapped kids, built for them, to fit their specific needs.
The park was extremely expensive, I understand in excess of a million dollars just for the field and dugouts. Most of the resources used were from private sources, raised by the Rotary Club, with a rather large contribution from the State of Washington to finish the project.
This park is, in my view, an extreme example of America. A tremendous amount of resources were raised, mostly from the private sector, to build an extremely costly facility, all so that approximately 40 handicapped kids can have fun and play baseball.
Contrasting that extreme example of America is an extreme example of Europe. In Germany in 1938 such a thing could not have happened. It could not have happened because the government of Germany, following its official policy, killed Rotarians, and killed handicapped people.
Extreme examples, but examples that exist because of the basic political philosophical differences that exist between the United States and Europe.
At it's most basic European political philosophy holds that the State is paramount and that power and rights flow from the State to the individual. This is most easily illustrated by the English term Subjects. People of the UK are explicitly called subjects, individuals subject to the will of their ruler. Individuals subject to the will of the State.
At it's most basic American political philosophy holds that the individual is paramount and that power flows from the individual to the state. Rights are granted to the individual not by the state but by god. The founding document of the United States illustrates this very well:
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. - That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, - That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it"
It is obviously true that in general, at this time, the people of Europe do not suffer horrible indignities based upon the European philosophy that dictates that they are inferiors of the State. It is equally true that the government of the United States has in a myriad of ways trampled the unalienable rights of American citizens. That does not however change the fundamental fact that these philosophies do give rise to occasional real world extreme examples of the differences between our two cultures. It is much harder for the government of the United States to commit evil acts upon its citizens than it is for any European government to commit evil acts upon its citizens. The basic political philosophy of America simply will not allow such evils to continue for too long, nor impact society too deeply.
Mussolini's Italy, Franco's Spain, Hitler's Germany, Vichy France, Stalin's Soviet Union, Putin's Russia, Communist Eastern Europe, and some would argue Blair's England. Totalitarianism seems to be the form of government most accepted in Europe throughout its recent history, and something we have managed to avoid, for the most part, here in the United States. We are blessed with this avoidance because of the political philosophy left us by our founding fathers.
Now, in this nation, there are repeated and loud calls for us to embrace European models of governance, European political philosophies and practices. We must resist these calls, no matter what promises of government largess we are given, for to embrace European political philosophy is to destroy that which has historically protected the United States from totalitarianism.
The United States is not Europe, it's very founding was a denial of Europe, a violent overthrow of European politics and philosophy. We must not betray our own revolution by now accepting European politics and philosophy, turning our backs upon the very foundations that created the freest, strongest, and most prosperous nation the world has ever known.
Our Fathers and Grandfathers, back through history to the very founding of our Republic could have chosen European political philosophy. Instead they chose to fight and die. Will we now, when our generations are called, accept European political philosophy without so much as a whimper simply because a charismatic President and his Congress promise us some nebulous "Hope"? I certainly hope not.
Our shared bdsm/fetish/gender desires are certainly outside the mainstream, certainly go unaccepted by society at large.
An unfortunate consequence of all of this is an overwhelming desire in some people to somehow make themselves 'normal.' To do away with their erotic desires and identity, replacing them with 'normalcy.' Of course this never works out and is the path to unhappiness, but it is an irrational impulse followed by many.
For crossdressers this usually entails the throwing away of all female clothing, related erotica, and whatever else has to do with gender play in the person's life. An overwhelming impulse to just throw it all away, in a desire to purge the need from one's life.
It doesn't work, and these things are slowly replaced, a collection built again until the next purge.
Countless dollars are thrown away in this manner every year by people all around this country.
If you are someone who purges in this way, I hope that next time the impulse to throw it all away overcomes you; you will stop to consider things for a while before giving in to the need to get rid of everything.
Consider that purging material things will not remove the desires or need from your life.
Consider that normalcy is a utopian fantasy, not realizable on this earth.
Consider that there is absolutely nothing wrong with consensual sexual expression between consenting adults or within oneself.
Consider that no consensual adult sexual expression is or can be immoral.
Consider that you are a unique and valuable individual, that your unique sexuality in no way devalues you or your life.
Consider that there is no valid guilt or shame that can be associated with consensual adult sexual expression.
Lastly, consider how badly you will miss those things you throw away later.
Accept yourself, embrace and enjoy yourself, be true to yourself. That is the only path to true joy.