Prison & D/s Relationships
Sometimes I think it is easy to become confused about just what exactly constitutes a Dominant/submissive relationship. Due to the stories we read, the perspectives we find, it is easy to start thinking that D/s relationships must be ‘dungeon’ relationships with naked slaves and all the trappings of bdsm.
This view is quite far from the truth.
A Dominant/submissive relationship is any relationship in which one person takes away the ability to make one or more decisions from another person, and that second person obeys without the condition that he or she can do the same in turn. Decision-making and obedience are the foundation of a D/s relationship, not whips, chains, and body worship.
As an example, let’s say that a boyfriend/girlfriend live together. In our example, he may suggest things, give his opinion about things, try to cajole her into doing things, just like everyone everywhere does. She in turn also acts perfectly within norms in every area of their shared lives but one.
In one area of their lives she has a rule. The rule is “Every single morning, when the alarm rings, you are to immediately get out of bed, poor me a cup of coffee, and deliver it.”
In our example, she did not consult him about the creation of this rule; she simply made it, and informed him of it. She also did not create the rule in jest, or as some kind of hope. She created it, informed him of it, and seriously demands that he obey it.
In turn, he has created no rule for her to live by, and he obeys her rule.
This relationship has no common elements of bdsm, yet it is a Dominant/submissive relationship.
Prison is a way in which we punish criminals by taking away the vast majority of the decisions they are able to make. Since when free they were unable to make proper decisions, we no longer allow them to make any important decisions. The fundamental difference of course between prison and consensual D/s, is that people in prison don’t want to be there. Those in consensual D/s relationships do.
By now, if you’ve read this far, I’ll bet I’ve got you wondering.
Wondering ‘Why on earth is she tying these two very different things together? What on earth does prison have in common with consensual D/s?
What runs through my mind this fine Seattle day, what gets me all hot and bothered is one little activity they both can have in common.
In prison the very dominant and cruel individuals regularly rape the asses of the submissive and meek individuals.
For loads of fun our dominant lady with her rule about coffee should do her best to create this facet of prison life for her live in boyfriend! Strap-on a nice big one, spread his legs, and work his little ass! Delight in his cries as she drives the dildo home, drives her point about the pecking order within the relationship home!
Favorite prison fuckholes frequently have to go to bed with sore asses from such use, her coffee boy likely should be no different. Especially since one delightful thing about a dominant woman’s strap-on cock is that it’s usually quite a lot larger than any biological cock!
Bend over coffee boy, I’ve got a hankering to make you squeal!
Comments
Hello Ms. Milliscent,
You got my attention with this one. Sorry I I'm late with your coffee, Ma'am. EEEEK!
Respectfully,
scott
Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse
Posted by: scott Kelly | October 22, 2008 4:53 PM
Thank You for another amazing post Mistress Milliscent. It would be incredible to have a 'prison relation' with a woman. Of course, i often lose myself while wanking in 'prison fantasies' where i'm encircled by a gaggle of extremely well hung men or well strapped Mistresses and must please them all before i am permitted freedom. i also indulge in becoming someone's 'personal bitch' and would be protected and also feel like i could more greatly experience and express feminization in this type of relationship.
Posted by: subworm | October 22, 2008 8:45 PM
Milliscent, You have such a thorough and wonderful understanding of the needs of submissive men. Your thoughts about the power of a simple rule such as being the "coffee boy" would make such a difference in my life. And, of course, I would love it if the Domination was extended to being "taken" as you describe. I have asked for such "simple" rules, but She has declined. My recourse has been to make rules for myself and follow them. So, in actuality I do start her day with a cup of coffee each morning. I "pretend" that it is required by her, but do many such "little" things to please her. It would be so much more meaningful to me if it was Commanded and required. Our problem, she is too NICE.
Posted by: nancy | October 24, 2008 6:06 AM
I love it. You are so right, Milliscent!
I never really understand why Dominas, such as my own, former Mistress, XM, don't make strapon ass rape of their male a required, routine morning event.
Every morning.
-saratoga
Posted by: saratoga | October 24, 2008 6:22 AM
scott,
I'm glad to have gotten your attention! I'm quite certain that you would make a perfect coffee boy!
M
Posted by: Milliscent | October 24, 2008 1:20 PM
subworm,
I understand the attraction.
A little bitch like yourself is thrown into prison, what could you do but find the biggest baddest boy in the place and try to attach yourself to him.
He would as you say be good protection for you, but who would protect you from him? Your pretty little mouth and ass would probably never get any rest at all.
I wonder though if the biggest and baddest guy in the joint wouldn't want you to interview for the position of his bitch. You had better keep on practicing your sucking skills just in case!
M
Posted by: Milliscent | October 24, 2008 1:24 PM
nancy,
Thank you for your very kind compliments. I am pleased that the post 'spoke to you.'
I do understand exactly the trouble you are facing, and the difference you describe. I'm afraid that I don't have a easy answer for you other than to hope that she comes around eventually.
I do think though that you are doing it perfectly right. Create rules for yourself and convince yourself that they are indeed her rules. I know that with time and effort such mental games can become quite powerful and very erotic.
I do salute your initiative, and hope that someday she does create a rule or two for you.
As for nice, I think that I'm very nice. One need not be less than perfectly nice to be a powerful and commanding dominatrix. One simply needs to become a bit selfish, and a bit cruel. One can remain very nice while giving ones partner a very healthy dose of slavery and suffering!
Thank you again,
M
Posted by: Milliscent | October 24, 2008 1:34 PM
saratoga,
I've learned through these past years that you and I think very much alike when it comes to our more twisted pleasures.
I've also often thought about the exact thing you mention.
I think that if I had a submissive boy living in my bedroom with me I would want his ass used, and used hard first thing every morning. What a perfect way for him to wake up and get his focus instantly upon me and my demands.
Alas though, I'm not a morning person, and that is where my thoughts have diverged from yours just a touch.
My own thoughts are of the boy fitting a quite massive plug into his ass while he is fetching me my coffee. No reason it couldn't stay there until he started his morning hygiene routine.
M
Posted by: Milliscent | October 24, 2008 1:39 PM
That is true, Mistress Milliscent, who would protect me from him? i suppose i'd be welcoming him to cheat on me. And yes, even to get him to choose me would require me to pass an 'interview' or two. Fortunately, there's a video arcade in my neighborhood where i do get plenty of practice. With gloryholes, a size queen has the option of waiting until something adequate pops up.
Posted by: subworm | October 25, 2008 1:16 AM
subworm,
I fear though that your prison plans just might not work out properly.
For men I think sexual penetration is all about conquest. After a man has penetrated you, conquered you, he starts to loose some interest in you.
That is why I think chastity games and cuckolding work so very positively on relationships. The male is not given his conquest, he must earn it, that keeps him forever interested in the woman in his life.
In the prison plans we have hatched for you, you are conquered, completely.
How shall you retain the protection of your big and brutal man if he looses interest I wonder.
It seems to me that little worm would have to work extra hard to keep her big fellow hot for her!
M
Posted by: Milliscent | October 25, 2008 10:37 AM
Mistress Milliscent, yes, You are right about men and their need to move on to new conquests and that the cuckold relationship is more rewarding in that regard. This little worm would do whatever it takes to keep my man interested in my pretty boi ass and mouth. Of course, if he sought out other conquests, there would be ultimately nothing i could do about it, i would hopefully participate (maybe as a fluffer) to maintain our connection and hopefully he would continue to protect his wimpy bitch from being passed around like the whore everyone knows she is.
Posted by: subworm | October 25, 2008 12:47 PM
subworm,
Perhaps you could strive to become a 'party favor.' The little whore that everyone can use. If you were to come on to everyone, service everyone, perhaps then you would create no enemies and need no protection!
M
Posted by: Milliscent | October 26, 2008 1:17 PM
Mistress Milliscent, rest assured i would be Your party favor anytime! Yes, You have tapped into deep dark fantasies of mine. Would i be able to pull it off in reality though? Certainly any real man who wants my mouth or hole is going to take me, so perhaps that would be the ideal option. "Just Say Yes!" If i could dress as a proper sissy, it would make it a lot easier, but i suppose i would have to adjust. All the muscle in there would have me on my knees pretty quickly as it is. Thank You for expanding the parameters of my fantasizing, Mistress Milliscent.
Posted by: subworm | October 26, 2008 5:32 PM
subworm,
"Just Say Yes."
I like it. A wonderful motto for you!
M
Posted by: Milliscent | October 26, 2008 6:38 PM