There was a bit of bad news on my trip to Oregon. We had 4 MacBook Pro computers in the Rolling Silver Orgasm (I know, it's strange, three people needing four of the worlds best computers while on vacation, long story.)

One of them, the newest one, got sick. You see, we were enjoying a fine red wine when a glass spilled upon said MacBook Pro, so we got to watch the computer drink it up. Unfortunately, apparently fine red wine and fine apple computers don't go together.

In any event, the computer survived it's mishap and still works fine. The screen though is another matter. Wine got up behind it causing all the colors to go haywire.

What's a dominatrix to do? On the drive home stop by Bellevue Square, in the height of rush hour, in a full sized pickup truck, pulling a massive trailer of course.

All to see the Apple Genius at the Apple Store.

Well, lemme tell ya, those guys are certainly not geniuses.

They couldn't just replace the damaged screen, they would have to replace everything. The screen, the hinges, the webcam, the bezel, even the lighted apple logo. $900 bucks.

While the price was shockingly high, one can't be without a computer, so the repair could have been made.

Question from our side:

How long does it take to replace the top half of the laptop?

Answer from the Genius:

Three to ten minutes.

Question from our side:

Do you have the part in stock here in the store?

Answer from the Genius:

Yes.

Question from our side:

Great! We will just shop around a bit, when should we come back to pick it up?

Answer from the Genius:

In about a week.

Question from our side:

You are just standing here talking to us, you have the part, can't you just do it now?

Answer from the Genius:

No.

Question from our side:

OK, how about selling us the part, we will change it ourselves?

Answer from the Genius:

Can't sell you the part.

Question from our side:

Since it only takes a few minutes to change the part, and since you are talking to us for those few minutes, who says you can't do it now, that you have to wait about a week?

Answer from the Genius:

Headquarters.

Question from our side:

Can we talk to your manager?

Answer from the Genius:

He's not here.

Needless to say we will not be having this repair done by the less than geniuses at the Apple Store. We found online a place that sells replacement screens, with full instructions on swapping them out. All at a much reduced cost.

I have been using and enjoying Mac computers since I first started with computers many years ago. I even remained loyal through the horrible years under Gil A. Amazing machines, but this was a truly awful repair experience.

As an Apple shareholder I hope that Mr. Jobs will be making improvements to the Genius offerings very soon.